Have you ever thought that if you were only more confident, more extroverted, less shy, more articulate, funnier, more serious, more handsome, younger, older . . . then you’d be able to ask for gifts?
Well, think again. The task of becoming a successful asker is not to change who you are or how you act or look or behave. All you have to do is understand your style and ask in a way that works for you.
Yes, each of us has our own personal asking style. If you know your style and use it to shape the way you ask for gifts, asking will be easier, and you’ll be more successful.
Your asking style is based on a combination of the way you interact with people and the way you most naturally make decisions. To determine your asking style, look at the simple chart below. Along the vertical axis place yourself according to whether you are an extrovert (top) or an introvert (bottom). On the horizontal axis place yourself on the right if you make decisions intuitively and on the left if you are analytical.
Your style influences many aspects of how you solicit gifts. It influences your selection of prospects, the way you prepare to approach them, how you articulate the case, and the way you follow through.
For example, my business partner, Brian Saber, with whom I have developed this material, is an introvert who makes decisions intuitively. Looking at the chart above, you can see that he’s a Kindred Spirit. Brian has spent his career in fundraising soliciting major gifts. To hear him tell it, he does not prepare a full presentation for his prospects. Rather he stays open to what they tell him and is able to respond and shape his asks in real time.
On the other hand, my client Maleka Lawrence, development director of Harlem RBI in New York, is a Mission Controller. She is comfortable when she is thoroughly and completely prepared and has a carefully crafted case that includes ample detailed information.
Both Brian and Maleka are very good at soliciting gifts. They are good at it because they have learned to use their natural styles to the fullest.
No matter what your asking style, you can be a successful asker. If you solicit gifts in a way that best suits you, you will be more likely to be willing to get out and ask. And in case you have forgotten, getting out to ask people for gifts in person really does raise more money.
On our Asking Matters website, you can see a video of Brian talking about his asking style--and many other videos of people like you talking about asking and giving. Take a look at askingmatters.com.
Andrea Kihlstedt is a well-known author, consultant, presenter, and development coach. Her book Capital Campaigns: Strategies that Work is a standard reference now in its third edition, and her new book, How to Raise $1 Million (or More!) in Ten Bite-Sized Steps, is an inspiring, quick read that makes major gift fundraising seem doable. Andrea is the cofounder of Asking Matters. You can reach her at andrea@askingmatters.com.
Thank you for the reminder to know yourself and be yourself when asking for support. I've had the good fortune and would only be successful when advocating for and soliciting support of programs I beleive in. It has been helpful for me to realize the intuitive sense of donors who know when needs are real, that their resources are being used directly toward improving the lives of people and that you as the asker, are truely appreciative of them as individuals not just as bankers. So my contirbution to the conversation is not only is it important to know your own style of asking, it is essential that donors know and trust your style and your response.
Barbara D. Miles
said on Jun 29 at 9:39AM